Wanna play Scythe on your laptop today? Sure you do

April 19, 2018 David Neumann 9

PC (beta), iOS/Android (down the road) • After collecting nearly $2 million on Kickstarter in 2015, Scythe made its grand debut at Gen Con 2016 and quickly scrambled up the Board Game Geek rankings to eventually land in the top ten games of all time. I’m not sure it deserves to be called the 7th best board game ever, but I do enjoy the game and its incredible overproduction quite a bit. Due to its success, a digital version only seemed natural and, of course, our digital overlords, Asmodee Digital, would be the ones bringing it to life. We know it’s coming to Steam and mobile sometime later this year, but maybe you want to give it a try now? Follow me.

I’m playing Terraforming Mars on my laptop and you’re not. Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!

April 16, 2018 David Neumann 7

PC, iOS, Android • If you’re one of those folks who live in a perpetually sunny clime and think Seasonal Affective Disorder is something conjured up by the weirdos in flyover country to explain why people on Fargo ain’t that bad, let me introduce you to weather in Wisconsin. Last Tuesday–April 10th if you don’t have a calendar–I was wearing shorts and short sleeves while working outside in mid-60 (Fahrenheit) degree temps. Like all warm and sunny days that occur after months of being perpetually chilled–even while indoors, mind you–it felt like a miracle. Yesterday–April 15th–I spent a couple hours outside, only this time I was shoveling the heaviest, wettest snow there is. Any heavier or wetter and it would have been classified as slush. It snowed, literally, all day with the sky a dark gray and the temperature never exceeding 30. It’s enough to make you want to pour a hot bath and leap in while holding a toaster. The worst part isn’t my frozen toes or numb fingers (we had, stupidly, socked all the boots and gloves away in the attic assuming that Spring was finally here), but the fact that I couldn’t spend the day in front of my laptop. On Friday, Asmodee gave me the keys to Terraforming Mars and I was dying to take it out for a spin. Luckily, I got my chance this morning (yes, it’s still snowing outside, but I’ve given up).

BattleTech heading to PC/Mac on April 24

April 12, 2018 David Neumann 2

PC/Mac • It was my first year at Gen Con, four or five years ago, when we meandered over to the Harebrained Schemes booth to cover their miniatures/app-based game, Golem Arcana. While we touched on that, they were far more interested in showing us something that was only in the planning stages at that point: a return to digital of the classic miniatures game, BattleTech. We watched it grow year after year with our annual Gen Con visits only to hear last year that it had been picked up by Paradox, the company that can do no wrong. [Dave has been angling for a Paradox sponsorship for awhile now (unsuccessfully). He’s still completely unbiased. :insert rolling-eye emoji here: -ed.] Yesterday, thanks to the hard work of our citizen journalists, we learned that it’s time to start flexing your mech-driving finger–not a real thing but I’m not smart enough to come up with a better visual–because BattleTech is coming to PC/Mac on April 24.

Warhammer Quest 2 (finally) arrives for Android

April 12, 2018 David Neumann 1

iOS Universal, Android • While rumor had it that the sequel to 2013’s much praised Warhammer Quest would be arriving for Android on Wednesday, April 11, that ended up being a big, filthy LIE. Instead, early this morning (not April 11, btw), Warhammer Quest 2 from Perchang made its way to the Google Play store. Okay, so it was like an hour late. Whatever.

Terra Mystica expands with Fire & Ice

April 5, 2018 David Neumann 0

iOS, Android, PC/Mac/Linux • So, I woke up this morning and loaded up Terra Mystica on my laptop trying to finish a game I had started last week. As I believe I mentioned earlier this year, wrapping my head around Digidiced‘s excellent port of TM was on my to-do list in 2018. Upon starting the game, however, I was hit with a notification that the Fire & Ice expansion had arrived. One new game menu later and I was all set to lead Tyrion and Dany against evil bitch Cersei and her Gregor-stein only to find that this isn’t a Song of Ice and Fire expansion, but something completely different. Fire & Ice is still pretty cool, but I have to admit I’m a little bummed.

Stately Playthrough: Darkest Night 2nd Edition, Turns 2 through 4

April 5, 2018 David Neumann 1

Tabletop • Despite two school musicals, umpteen volleyball tournaments, and a spring break drive to Florida, I’ve finally managed to get the second video of our Darkest Night 2nd Edition playthrough finished. Whew. This video picks up where the last one left off and brings us three full turns, namely turns two through four. Future videos will be one turn (maybe two) so I can get these things out the door quicker. Seriously, trying to do all these turns at once was a big mistake and just too much damn work. Not like you care about that, but I really want to get at least one out per week. Two per week would be amazing. Also, my microphone broke while in Florida, so I had to record using a crappy headset mic. It sounds like I’m recording in a bathroom which, I assure you, I only did for 37% of the video. See if you can figure out which scenes! I’ll be looking to get a new microphone, but it might be awhile. I apologize in advance for your aching earholes.

Stranger Things have happened; Fireball Island comes back to life on Kickstarter

April 3, 2018 David Neumann 9

Tabletop • I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know when I say 80’s nostalgia is a hot commodity right now. It can be done the right way (Stranger Things) or the wrong way (Ready Player One), but either way it seems to be a means to print money. Restoration Games is jumping on the bandwagon with their latest blast-from-the-past, Fireball Island. You might remember this one from your childhood or just been unable to avoid the hype on #boardgame Twitter. Either way, it’s gone live on Kickstarter today and it’s a doozy.

Flash Point: Fire Rescue heats up on Steam

March 30, 2018 David Neumann 9

PC/Mac/Linux • Remember when Kurt Russell dipped that hot wire into everyone’s blood sample in The Thing and Palmer’s blood squeals and jumps out of the petrie dish? That was pretty great. Okay, so that has nothing to do with Flash Point: Fire Rescue but I was trying to remember anything about Backdraft for my intro and couldn’t, so I went to the first Kurt Russell movie I could think of instead. How different can movies be when the main character is Kurt Russell’s hair? Anyway, the cooperative board game Flash Point: Fire Rescue is now available on Steam. Or something. Sorry, I’m still thinking about Kurt’s curly locks.

Perchang bringing Warhammer Quest 2 to Android in April

March 29, 2018 David Neumann 7

iOS Universal, Android • Warhammer Quest 2 had a bit of a rough release on iOS with many Stately Players [it’s too early, don’t start -ed.] complaining that the sequel lacked the original‘s tension and difficulty mainly due to a lack of random encounters. Perchang was on top of it, however, and released an expansion as well as updated the game to include, you guessed it, random dungeon encounters. Suddenly our forums were full of happy stories detailing the latest TPK at the hands of some random beastie and all was good again. Or was it? Turns out Android users still weren’t able to play and were crying in their Oreos. Or is it Marshmallows? Or Honeycombs? I can’t keep up. Good news, Android users! Perchang has announced that the Android version of Warhammer Quest 2 will be arriving on Google Play this April.

CGE plays Efficient Upgrade and releases Through the Ages on Steam

March 28, 2018 David Neumann 2

iOS, Android, PC/Mac/Linux • If there’s one thing I’ve learned after doing this at 164, Owen’s old site, and here at Stately Play, it’s that big news will always drop when I’m unable to reach a keyboard. I’ve been behind the wheel of a 13 year-old minivan the last few days, so getting new news up on the site has been…challenging. Luckily, Kelsey filled in and wrote something I can only describe as “don’t miss”. Still, I failed Czech Games and my favorite title of 2017 by missing the launch of Through the Ages on Steam. So, here goes: If you haven’t heard, Through the Ages is now on Steam!

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