iPad, Android Tablets • One of Owen’s ongoing lamentations about the App Store involved the absolute dearth of good city-building sims, and sims in general. Properties like Roller Coaster Tycoon, SimCity, and Dungeon Keeper were all available, but saddled with free-to-play shenanigans that robbed them off their joy. [For the record, a proper port of RCT was eventually released -ed.] A couple years ago we were told that our suffering was near an end because Introversion Software was bringing their funny, deep, and horrifying prison sim, Prison Architect, to mobile. While news has been slow since those initial announcements, Paradox (yes, Paradox…they’re publishing the mobile version) came forward last week and announced that Prison Architect has been released…in the Netherlands.
One of the things they don’t tell you before becoming a parent is that your kids will test the limits of your sanity. I’m not talking the sleepless nights, or worrying about them when they’re sick. I’m talking about the phase they all seem to enter around 3-4 years old called the Knock-Knock Joke Phase. “Prepare thyself for constant hilary, ma & pa!” is something that you’ll never, ever hear. In fact, I did some research and discovered that the words “knock knock” actually come from Latin and refer to a rather unfortunate form of ritual suicide. Your dinner table will be beset with knock knock jokes that, worst of all, don’t even make sense. Not one usable pun will be uttered from the back seat of your minivan following the words “who’s there?” With my youngest, I spent an entire year asking “Who’s there?” only to be answered with “baby butt”, which isn’t as funny as a 3 year-old thinks it is. Well, it’s kind of funny, but not the 4,378th time you’ve heard it.
If you haven’t familiarized yourself with Bundle Stars yet, now might be the time. Paradox makes some of the greatest strategy titles out there, and nearly all of them are on sale right now if you buy through Bundle Stars. What are you waiting for?
While 4X is a very close second, I’m pretty confident that my favorite game genre is the city builder. To this day I still play the great city builders from Impressions like Pharaoh, Caesar, and Zeus. And don’t get me started on my all-time favorite, Children of the Nile. With that in mind, it should come as no surprise that I’ve been high on Colossal Order‘s magnificent Cities: Skylines from the start. A brilliant and beautiful city-builder that was lacking only one thing since launch: the ability to destroy your creation. That omission has now been resolved with the just released Natural Disasters expansion.