David Neumann

Review: Istanbul

June 27, 2018 David Neumann 15

iOS Universal, Android • If you deep dive into the unpublished drafts currently chained up in the Stately Play dungeons, you’ll find a screed titled, “Board Games Suck”. It was started as a rant against the current state of the hobby which, as anyone will tell you, is going gangbusters. Unfortunately, while we’re getting thousands (literally) of new game releases each year, I’m finding my interest in about 98% of them is close to zero. This is mostly in the euro game category where every new game I hear about sounds like an excuse to rehash overdone mechanisms, paste a popular yet loose-fitting theme on it, and get it into the hands of the usual suspects so the hype train can start rolling. So, why haven’t I published the article? Well, my heart is telling me that an article with that headline isn’t a great idea on a site that covers board games. Also, #notalleuros. There are still a few new games here and there that get my blood flowing. Most of them are designed by Vital Lacerda, but one that wasn’t came out back in 2014, won the Kennerspiel des Jahres, and still gets table time. That would be Rüdiger Dorn’s Istanbul.

The end or not the end, that is the question

June 26, 2018 David Neumann 25

When people ask about my job and I mention Stately Play, I can always guess their follow-up question. “Do you make any money doing that?” No one asks if writing here makes me feel good or gives me a sense of purpose or even what I’m writing about, it’s always about the money. When I tell them that, no, it doesn’t really make any money, I usually get a “good luck!” and then they walk away to talk to the more “successful” people.. The sickening takeaway: to be successful, someone/something has to make money and lots of it. Well, from that vantage point, Stately Play is a towering failure. Of course, I heartily disagree. What the hell am I rambling on about? I got a job that pays real money and it ain’t writing about games on the internet.

Stately Scrying: What we’re playing this weekend

June 22, 2018 David Neumann 17

Well, this is it. The last weekend before I head off to work at a “real job”. Why real? Because it makes money and we all know that money is the most important thing there is. Do I sound bitter? I am a bit, I guess. It’s hard to love doing something only to be told it’s not relevant because it doesn’t make you any cash. Next Monday I start that real job and, while I’m looking forward to the mental challenge that engineering supplies, I’m going to miss being able to hang out and email publishers and developers, write about the things I love, and post gifs in the forums. Oh, I’ll still be here (I’ll be posting more about this later today, or maybe over the weekend), but writing won’t be my main gig anymore. I know, poor me. This being my last weekend of freedom from the boss’s unnerving gaze, let’s look at what everyone is planning on playing while I’m counting down the hours.

Guard your wallet, the Steam Summer Sale has begun

June 22, 2018 David Neumann 0

It’s that time of year again, when gamers whose digital fireplaces are already full of unplayed games will toss more kindling onto their metaphorical woodpiles. I’ll admit, that all sounded way better in my head. If only I had an editor [The BGG crowd told me I wasn’t funny, so I’m on vacation -ed.]. In other words, it’s the Steam Summer Sale and I’m already spending money I don’t have on games I don’t need [lately, all you need is Factorio. Oh, wait, I’m not here -ed.]. The gents have put together their lists of the best deals you’ll currently find on Valve’s money-maker.

One Deck Dungeon getting two new heroes

June 21, 2018 David Neumann 3

iPad, Android Tablets, PC/Mac/Linux • Sentinels of the Multiverse was deluged with constant updates, new content, expansions, and more after its release and at a pace that would make most developers shut down from exhaustion. You’d think Handelabra would have a hard time replicating that with their latest baby, One Deck Dungeon, but it’s starting to feel like déjà vu. They’ve already added the Phoenix Den and tomorrow the roguelike card game is getting not one, but two new characters to kill with poor dice rolls: Fanatic and Caliana.

Tropico lying and stealing its way to iPad later this year

June 20, 2018 David Neumann 7

iPad, PC/Mac/Linux • Ah, nothing like a warm island breeze cooling you off as you’re sipping a daiquiri from a comically tall glass on a hot beach. The only thing that could make it better would be pocketing away millions of corrupt dollars while doing so, all while avoiding being handcuffed and taken away to a reeducation center because you happened to mention that El Presidente’s mustache was looking a tad droopy this morning. If you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, welcome to Tropico, the city building game where you play the corrupt leader of a banana republic. The original Tropico is more than 15 years old now, but it’s had a slew of sequels and, later this year, it will make its debut on iPad.

Nomad and AEG combine forces, bringing more board game goodness to digital

June 20, 2018 David Neumann 4

iOS, Android, PC, Switch, PS4 • We mostly know Nomad from their continuing love affair with Games Workshop’s fantasy classic, Talisman. Last week they released The Woodland expansion which, if you’re not counting, was the 7,426th* expansion released for Talisman since January. Of course they’ve done some other games as well, most notably a team up with Alderac Entertainment Group for a digital port of Smash Up. Well, they’re teaming up with AEG again, this time bringing 3 of their titles to PC, mobile, and some other platforms as well.

The Color of Madness comes to Darkest Dungeon today

June 19, 2018 David Neumann 3

PC/Mac/Linux (today); iPad, Switch, Consoles (later) • While it’s one of the most polarizing titles available for the iPad, Darkest Dungeon on Steam is less divisive. The game still sports a “very positive” rating on Steam more than 2 years and many updates later. Today that will be put to the test when the latest major DLC, The Color of Madness, arrives. From what I can tell, the expansion is sure to be a hit. The test is going to come from the changes being made to the base game at the same time. Let’s just say the list of changes coming to DD is massive.

Stately Scrying: What we’re playing this weekend

June 15, 2018 David Neumann 10

If you didn’t figure it out from today’s posts, it’s Father’s Day weekend here in the US. For a lot of dads this means going golfing, attending a sporting event, or just getting an uninterrupted couch nap. For us, it means that we get to play some games. Here’s hoping that goes for you too because, as we all know, golf sucks.

The greatest dexterity game

June 15, 2018 David Neumann 5

The ball was only six pounds and you could hear the pins snickering as it drunkenly rolled down the lane, pinballing from the bumper covering the right gutter to the left. Somehow, magically, it struck squarely between the one and three and, unlike a heavier ball’s urethane devastation, the small green ball bounced gleefully between pins, knocking some down and wobbling others. When all was said and done, however, the snickering had stopped and all ten pins lay prone, defeated. Harry stopped jumping up and down and turned to face me with a smile as big as Christmas morning.