Quarantine Cycle: Games to play when your family won’t and friends are socially distanced

April 3, 2020 David Neumann 8

Looking on the bright side–not my forte, mind you–this whole global pandemic thing has at least one good thing going for it: it’s gotten our friend Kelsey back at the writing desk. If you’ve been paying attention, Kelsey has penned a series of articles about what to do with your loved ones now that you’re caged up with them like a tiger at the G.W. Zoo. His work inspired me to pen an article about what to do if you and your family have more of a Joe Exotic/Carole Baskin vibe. That is, what to do when your family hates games, won’t play them with you, and hates your for even suggesting such a thing? Head to the internet, my friends. Here’s games you can play either asynchronously or in real-time with friends even when you can’t be sitting around the same table.

Chess, Azul, and some more frightening games.

Quarantine Cycle: Games to Make Your Children Cry

March 30, 2020 Kelsey Rinella 0

This series has included three articles with suggestions for games you can play with your family which will help build bonds and skills while making your isolation together more pleasant. But there may come a time when you want to show those hellspawn darling children who’s the boss. Of course, there’s no point in trying to play something so obviously boring or beyond them that they’ll lose interest before the rule get explained. Sure, you could ruin your relationship forever with a single game of Diplomacy, but they’re unlikely to give you the chance. These games are highly regarded and seem very approachable, making them ideal for the purpose: Ticket to Ride (2-5 players)–an absolute gem of an introductory game, accessible to virtually everyone but with enough meat to satisfy even sophisticated gamers occasionally. The reason it makes this list is that the game begins with players choosing goals; the more ambitious they are, the more points that player stands to gain or lose. Savvy players learn to obfuscate their aims and choose goals of middling difficulty. Children are generally not well-suited to these tasks, which means an attentive parent can not only block them from their ambitions, but may even wait to do so until their child is heavily committed to the goal to be blocked. This not only imposes a massive point penalty, but also ruins the child’s ability to recover or adapt. Some of the other versions introduce mechanics which address this rage-inducing dynamic (Ticket to Ride: Europe is particularly gentle), but if you really want to see that gleam of betrayal in your child’s eyes, the base game is perfect. Azul (2-4 players)–Azul looks like a relaxed puzzle played with Starburst Fruit Chews. The pieces only look delicious, but they’re still as sensually pleasing as a game piece gets, and there’s a calm pleasantness to using them to make a tile pattern and getting more and more points for it every turn. The trouble, really, is loss aversion–the curious but almost universal psychological effect which describes our tendency to hate losing far more than we like winning. In Azul, if you take too many tiles of the wrong kind, you lose points. So, when selecting tiles, whoever notices last that there’s a growing pile of tiles that no one wants to take is likely to get stuck with them and lose a load of points. I didn’t even mean to dump a giant pile of black tiles on my son in our last game, it just fell out that way, but he lost everything, quit the game, and has refused to play since. That was months ago. Chess/Scrabble (2/2-4 players)–both classics, but both have the same problem (from a child’s perspective): it’s pretty easy to memorize a few things which make the game far easier, and parents are much more likely to know this than their children. A truly malevolent parent could probably lure a child into believing their skill at chess was growing for several games before pulling the popular and utterly demoralizing four-move checkmate on them, and follow it with a series of famous openings which put them in a strong position thereafter. Similarly, as a parent, it’s not uncommon to hear people mention that memorizing all the two-letter words English offers give one a massive advantage in Scrabble. Given that both games tend to rely on skills at which parents tend to be more practiced than their children, anyway, the easy availability of game-warping but rapid study puts them well into the hazardous realm for kids to play with their parents. Betrayal at House on the Hill (3-6 players)–while any game with a hidden traitor has the potential to cause the sting of betrayal, this one has the added possibility of the newest player being handed a whole special rule set with no one available who could clarify or correct any misunderstandings. This is particularly harsh because the rules for the first half of the game are so light and approachable. Bonus points must be awarded for leaning hard enough into its horror theme that the children may end up with nightmares. After recommending games to buy for a single elementary schooler, a family, and to make at home, I thought it important to explain why I hadn’t been suggesting some otherwise superb options. Obviously, poker or backgammon played for money have the potential to cause seriously hard feelings despite their strengths, and trivia games must be carefully chosen to avoid being simply tests of who among the players is a middle-aged white person. But some of the pitfalls (to parents who want to foster goodwill among their families) of other popular games might be less obvious.

Clank, Forbidden Desert, and Wavelength.

Quarantine Cycle: Games to Buy to Play with Children

March 25, 2020 Kelsey Rinella 1

Previously, we covered tabletop options to buy to play with an elementary school child, and those you can make at home. Most of those work very well if you have several children of similar capabilities. But many parents are now home with multiple children who are different enough that too competitive a game would alienate a less experienced player in short order. Two solutions are common: removing skill, and playing cooperatively. Forbidden Desert (2-5 players)–like its slightly older sibling, Forbidden Island, all players work together to try and save everyone from asphyxiation. Each turn, the active player takes four actions to try and find the pieces of a flying machine to escape the desert which becomes ever more dangerous as a sandstorm intensifies. A superb first cooperative game, but younger players might prefer the slightly cleaner design of Forbidden Island. Pandemic: Fall of Rome (1-5 players)–contrariwise, older players are likely to prefer the more mature theme and complicated strategy of Pandemic: Fall of Rome for their cooperative gaming. It builds on the basic structure of Pandemic, but is a stand-alone game which avoids the perhaps depressing topicality of the original. Rather than flying out of a deadly desert, players defend Rome from the barbarians in tight positional play. The game tends to ramp up the tension such that collective wins are tremendously relieving, but even losses bring the family together. Animal Upon Animal (2-4 players)–while games requiring stacking wooden pieces definitely require dexterity that can make them challenging for the youngest players, the unusual shapes of the animals to be stacked makes success uncertain even for seasoned hands. Like Wavelength, it’s common for the game to come out for uses other than the intended game, as younger children find the cute animals irresistible. There’s also an amusing tertiary use for adults, as the game becomes hilarious when lubricated by alcohol. Wavelength (2-12 players)–one player is given a randomly generated point on a spectrum, and must give a clue to get their teammates to choose the right spot. So, for example, a player might have the spectrum Hot – Cold, and have to choose something everyone else will agree is just a bit hotter than the midpoint. You can play as a competitive team game, but, once the game is set up, it usually devolves into an activity in which everyone guesses, because shutting anyone out of the discussion is less fun. Wavelength tends to create the sort of amusement and bonding that Apples to Apples gave when it was new (but does much less now that the cards I have are outdated and my children have drawn me into nonsensical games too often). Clank! A Deck-Building Adventure (1-4 players)–dungeon delving tends to promote a fairly testosterone-heavy attitude of ever-growing power used primarily to murder ever larger monsters. Clank turns each player into a basically cowardly thief, trying to outdo the others in avarice without taking excessive risks. The trouble is, as soon as anyone skedaddles, they provoke the dungeon’s dragon into attacking every turn, and none of you is the dragon-slaying hero, you’re the running-for-your-lives-from-the-dragon opportunists. While skill at the deck-management element of the game is important, players who think themselves more competent will often find themselves burned by a weaker play who doesn’t get too ambitious. It’s a much lighter tone than many dungeon crawl games, which is why its sequel, Clank! Legacy: Acquisitions Incorporated, so nicely fits into the world created for a Dungeons & Dragons game conceived by two webcomics fellows. If you look into Clank and feel confident it would be a hit with your family, consider the legacy upgrade. It’s more expensive, but has been an absolute blast with my kids, and adds a campaign which will customize your board and components so that every game you play after the campaign finishes will be unique to your copy. Each of these games has been a hit in my house, and can unite a family across age levels. As with the games in the other articles in this series, though, none of them is essential, and many fantastic alternatives exist.

Cars. Very small cars.

Quarantine Cycle: Tabletop Games You Can Make at Home

March 23, 2020 Kelsey Rinella 3

Games to buy to play with an elementary schooler are all well and good, but there are games which require no trip to the store and are cheap or free to play or create at home. Even better, many of these involve substantial creativity or crafting, which can occupy many hours and may have minimal supervision requirements. Nessos (3-6 players)–there’s a wonderfully-illustrated version of this game produced by IELLO, but it’s perfectly playable with a standard deck of cards. You can check out the full rules here, but the game distills the thrill of bluffing in poker into a quick, simple game which needs no money to fascinate. If you’re interested in other quality games playable with a standard deck, I recommend Shut Up and Sit Down’s series Card Games That Don’t Suck. It’s not targeted specifically at families, so keep your children’s needs in mind (Bourré, for example, would be catastrophically stressful for my kids), but no one communicates the distinctive joy various games offer than those fellows. Gaslands (2-5 players)–small, frighteningly delicate plastic figures you build and paint to take part in massive tabletop battles are one of the greatest money pits in gaming, often involving a multi-year commitment to the craft and thousands of dollars. Gaslands replaces all of that with Mad Max-style vehicular combat and racing using whatever Matchbox cars you have ready to hand. You can download the rules from Amazon, as a Kindle book, or directly from Osprey Publishing’s website, print out the movement templates and paste them onto cardboard from a cereal box, and be playing tonight. Cars which have suffered under the not-so-tender attentions of aggressive toddlers look thematically appropriate in a post-apocalyptic race–indeed, you might find your children quite excited to customize their cars further, sandpapering off some of that lovely finish, adding some plausible dents, or even gluing on weapons. Dressing up the table can be a crafty enterprise of as much complexity as you like. Feel like racing around a LEGO Apocalypseburg? Dungeons and Dragons (2-9 players)–the basic rules to the grandfather of tabletop roleplaying, now in its fifth edition, are available for free from Wizards of the Coast’s website. Their digital tools are comprehensive and easy to use, so, if your family loves their introduction to chaotic good gnomish paladins and bugbears, the options for expanding your experience even without new physical stuff are plentiful (and can get pricey). But, while D&D is a great way to set your children up for a hobby which will connect them to a huge player base in the future (and older children might be able to use one of these options listed by Polygon to set up a game with friends), it may not be the best choice for a first time player. DriveThruRPG offers a daunting bounty of family-friendly options available for instant download–you might check out My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria. It’s a streamlined system with a bit more focus on teamwork and nonviolent resolution, but still set in a fantasy world of dragons and magic in which daring physical feats, cleverness, and combat are necessary. If that’s not your bag, other games let you play as stuffed animals, rabbits (anthropomorphic or natural), detectives (child or adult), or even just go fishing. Seriously. Sprawlopolis (1-2 players)–there are many board games you can download to print at home–here’s one list with quick reviews–but I’m fond of Button Shy Games’ inexpensive Sprawlopolis because it poses a highly variable spatial puzzle in fewer than 20 cards, and is playable solo. So it’s easy on the printer ink, and I keep hoping it’ll occupy one of my children for some long period, as it has me. And, some day, its extreme portability may be useful again! Make up your own! LEGO-based rulesets like Mobile Frame Zero and Quikwars sound great, but perhaps their greatest contribution is that they point the way toward the possibilities of designing your own games using things you already have. These could be as ambitious as full sets of rules and hand-crafted components, or re-uses of existing pieces with just minor rules tweaks (there’s a wide array of chess variants, for example). A promising option for budding game designers who aren’t quite ready to jump into a full game is to design new components for an existing one–I’m still working on my own ideas for an expansion to Unmatched featuring John Henry vs. Steam Drill. Given how well that’s going, I’m confident your kids can do better. UPDATE: I’ve been directed to PNP Arcade by the Shut Up and Sit Down folks. It looks like a tremendous resource for those interested in making games at home.

The game boxes

Quarantine Cycle: Board Games to Buy to Play with an Elementary Schooler

March 19, 2020 Kelsey Rinella 0

This piece is part of a series, the next of which is Quarantine Cycle: Tabletop Games You Can Make at Home. Many parents found the board games available to them when they were children tiresome as they grew to adolescence, and may view the prospect of entertaining a child with endless games of Monopoly or Uno with dread. Fortunately, as games have grown more popular, the array of games which are accessible to elementary school students (grades 3-5 in my district, roughly ages 8-11) yet tolerable or even fascinating for adults has grown, also. The following are suggestions from recent experiences with my own children, ages 10 and 12. Disney Villainous (2-6 players)—lovely artwork and elegant pieces accompany a game that introduces a lot of concepts from more complicated games. Some kids just delight in being the bad guy, each pursuing their own goals and hindering other by playing heroes to block others’ plans. While it can run long at higher player counts, it’s very rewarding to see an observant child realize why certain cards have the effects they do, and there’s impressive variety available between the base set of six characters and three standalone expansions of three each. A superb example of licensing which enhances the game. Unmatched (2-4 players)—another gorgeous production, Unmatched uses a brilliantly streamlined system to represent battles between legendary fighters and their sidekicks. Hand management and timing are key to making the most of your opportunities, so Unmatched is a marvelous tool for teaching those who tend to resist reflection to slow down and consider consequences. But, with games usually lasting only 20 minutes or so, being punished for one’s mistakes tends not to linger in resentment, but instead encourage trying again, perhaps with a different hero. Like the villains from Villainous, each plays very differently. While there’s plenty of variety in the four-player base set of King Arthur, Medusa, Sinbad, and Alice in Wonderland, you can try out the system more cheaply with the standalone expansion of Robin Hood vs. Bigfoot, and my favorite character, Bruce Lee, comes in his own solo expansion. Tokaido (2-4 players)—a gentle game about touring feudal Japan which gives players points for things like seeing beautiful views and taking baths. If anxiety is getting to you, this pleasant journey might ease your mind for an hour or so. PARKS is a reputedly similar, more recent game with stunning art depicting U.S. National Parks, but availability has been an issue. ICECOOL (2-4 players)—sometimes, it’s helpful to have a game which is a bit less cerebral, and relies on dexterity rather than pure analysis. This game features penguin students running around their school searching for fish to snack on, but you move your oddly-weighted piece by flicking it. Skilled players can make their penguins jump, corner, and stop at just the right points, so ICECOOL can play the valuable role of occupying a lone child in practice for quite some time. And, for less dexterous parents like myself, it also offers the opportunity to lose to one’s children without throwing the game. NMBR 9 (1-4 players)—the only game on this list for which one could make a case that the educational payload is obvious enough that children wary of edutainment might balk, NMBR 9 transcends that genre by embedding some multiplication practice in an elegant polyomino-stacking game which rewards careful spatial reasoning and planning. Sleeping Queens is a simpler card game which is better suited for younger mathematicians, but was so beloved when my children were smaller that I couldn’t leave it unmentioned. The world of modern board games is sufficiently diverse and marvelous that I could write this article several times over without repeating games. If you’re motivated to research more, http://www.boardgamegeek.com is the most comprehensive destination on the web. Most of these games aren’t excessively difficult to come by, often stocked by big box stores or Barnes and Noble, and it’s a superb time to support local game boutiques if you can do so safely. The best prices are often available at specialty online game stores like http://www.gamenerdz.com, which became my go-to after I learned of their relatively low $75 free shipping threshold.

Just when I thought I was out, Slay the Spire pulls me back in

January 20, 2020 David Neumann 10

PC/Mac/Linux, Xbox, PS4, Switch While I haven’t completely stopped playing Slay the Spire, I will admit my weekly numbers are down. In fact, other than plane-trip-long sessions on my Switch, Slay the Spire has been mostly ignored. Somehow, I had managed to slip free of the shackles that Slay the Spire’s relentlessly addictive gameplay had bound me in…until I logged into Steam yesterday. Sonofabitch, they added a new class. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

Review: Maze Machina

January 20, 2020 David Neumann 9

iOS, Android According to the wayback machine, it’s been over eight months since we’ve posted a review here at Stately Play. Despite this, I still try to convince myself that, somehow, we’re relevant [hahahahahahahahahahahaha -ed.]. It took our German friends at TiNYTOUCHTALES to put an end to our torpor. Last week the developers of such mobile classics as Card Crawl and Card Thief released their latest time waster and it’s a doozy. In fact, Maze Machina might be their best game yet.

Nomad bringing Dracula and all his Fury to digital

January 8, 2020 David Neumann 5

One game that I love, love, love but my group hates, hates, hates is the oft-streamlined and re-released classic, Fury of Dracula. Originally released back in the 80’s as a roll-and-move, the latest version (the 4th edition) was released this year and there’s not a die to be found. The new 4th edition is the one that Nomad, crafters of gems like Talisman and Mystic Vale, is bringing to digital later this year.

Dire Wolf delivers Yellow & Yangtze to mobile, Steam

December 12, 2019 David Neumann 0

iOS, Android, PC/Mac Earlier this year Dire Wolf Digital surprised us with a lengthy list of board games they’re going to be bringing to digital over the next few years. The announcement was followed by the release of Raiders of the North Sea which is one of the best board game apps of 2019. Since July it’s been quiet on the Dire Wolf front, however, with nary a word about the progress on titles like Root or, my most anticipated, Mage Knight. Today, however, Dire Wolf is back in the spotlight with the second release from their burgeoning portfolio: Reiner Knizia’s Yellow & Yangtze.

Warhammer Underworlds: Online gets trailer, EA release date

December 6, 2019 David Neumann 0

PC So here’s another game I didn’t know was in the works. I know I’ve been gone for a couple months but I’m starting to feel like I just woke up from a 20-year coma. The game is Warhammer Underworlds which is apparently the full title of a tabletop game I simply knew as Shadespire all this time. It’s coming to Early Access in January and, holy crap, does it look amazing.

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