David Neumann

Cardboard Critique: Terraforming Mars

January 17, 2017 David Neumann 5

If you’re only exposure to the Red Planet comes from visuals of Matt Damon pooping on his potatoes or mutant women with three breasts, I have some news for you. First of all, those are movies and, secondly, those weren’t real breasts. Don’t worry though, because Mars is an actual, real-life place and it’s only 140 million miles away. Best of all, according to Terraforming Mars from Stronghold Games, its surface is covered with a resource more valuable than unobtainium: Victory Points.

Wait…there’s a decent Rollercoaster Tycoon for mobile?

January 11, 2017 David Neumann 1

One of the greatest memories I have of my Good Ol’ DaysTM working at Pocket Tactics occurred in 2014 when Owen went apoplectic regarding Atari’s botched release of RollerCoaster Tycoon 4. Seriously, go read his review. It’s a beautiful thing. Not only did RCT4 fail to bring a fascinating simulation to mobile, it basically became the face of the free-to-play downfall of the App Store. Here was a classic title with promise that was retooled to wring as much cash out of players as possible, fun be damned. I had given up on seeing a decent RCT game ever make its way to mobile but then this week I spotted something else over at our old digs. A five-star review for something called RollerCoaster Tycoon Classic. What the hell?

Mysterium ready to cross over to the other side

January 10, 2017 David Neumann 15

Mysterium was one of the victims from the famous Colt Express fallout of 2016. You might remember that Colt Express was launched by Asmodee with much aplomb, only to be met with rather dour reviews especially concerning the state of its multiplayer system. Asmodee quickly pushed back the releases of Mysterium and Potion Explosion to 2017 to work things out. I’m not sure if you noticed, but it’s 2017. As such, we can expect Mysterium to materialize this Thursday on all platforms.

Duelyst set to sail stormy mobile CCG waters

January 6, 2017 David Neumann 0

Despite the recent death of SolForge, there’s still hope for mobile CCG fans who don’t want to go crawling back to Hearthstone. Duelyst has been around on PC/Mac for a bit now and it’s one of the few CCGs that can actually hold my interest. Lucky for us, it appears to be coming to mobile in Q1 of 2017.

Avignon: A Clash of Popes arrives on mobile

January 4, 2017 David Neumann 1

Despite what you might be hoping, Avignon: A Clash of Popes does not feature Stephen IV and St. Peter performing the fish slapping dance. Nor does it feature Boniface VI riding a pegasus while holding the severed head of Sixtus II. Despite that, it sounds like a pretty great game.

R.I.P. SolForge

January 4, 2017 David Neumann 17

One of the more popular CCGs on the App Store that wasn’t Hearthstone was SolForge from Stone Blade Entertainment. Turns out it wasn’t as popular as we thought. Yesterday, Stone Blade bigwig Justin Gary announced that not only was SolForge suffering from a terminal illness, but that it only had a few weeks to live.

Don’t Starve comes back to mobile with Shipwrecked

January 2, 2017 David Neumann 0

I’ve spent the last ten days doing not much more than yelling at children and trying to drink away this never-ending headache. No luck thus far, but tomorrow the sun shines again and the house belongs to me and me alone (and the dog, but he’s way less annoying than the kids). As such, I can start looking at the App Store again to see what I’ve missed. In theory, there shouldn’t be much as the App Store has been shut down over the holidays. You can imagine my surprise this morning when I awoke to find that an expansion to one of my favorite games was released early last week. Pretty sneaky, sis.

Stately Selections: Top Video Games of 2016 #1

December 30, 2016 David Neumann 0

I was going to write a long diatribe about 2016 to wrap up the year, but instead I want you all to look at my GIMP skills in that header pic. Yes, that’s a crown. I also wrote in that really sweet “#1”. I figure I had to tell you that it was me because I’m guessing most of you would assume we dropped beaucoup bucks on a real graphic artist. I mean, I don’t like to brag, but I kind of like to brag. We’re finally here! Our number one games of 2016. What’s at the top? Will anyone pick a mobile game? Will anyone not pick a mobile game? Will David and Maddie ever hook up? [I’ve only seen seasons 1 and 2 of Moonlighting. I’m saving up for the season 3 blu-ray -ed.] All these answers (not all of them, actually) will be answered beyond the break.

Stately Selections: Best Video Games of 2016 #2

December 29, 2016 David Neumann 1

[Insert witty opening] That’s all I got today, folks. I was doing my dadly duties today and looked at my watch realizing it was 4pm and I’d forgotten all about today’s countdown. No time to mess around! Head after the break to see our #2 picks for best of 2016.

Stately Selections: Best Video Games of 2016 #3

December 28, 2016 David Neumann 0

We’re back with our countdown of the top games of 2016. Yesterday, I was a bit short on time so my introduction was on the brief side. Today, I had planned to regale you with tales of how I’ve yet to murder any children during Christmas break. After starting, however, I realized that it’s a rather boring tale involving lots and lots of Legos. Instead, let’s continue the countdown. Today we reach the midpoint with our #3 titles of 2016. Because we need clicks, check our picks after the break.